The Misconceptions That Arise From Pornography

Women can engage in sexual activity indefinitely because they are unresponsive with a lover. In porn, so-called multiple orgasms offer a way of explaining how women could apparently be re-aroused indefinitely. Porn actresses moan intermittently throughout the male performance. They build in some smaller climaxes along the way to bring the man on. It’s as if women are aroused and re-aroused on a never-ending basis until the man has had his orgasm. Finally when the man is about to ejaculate, the woman is miraculously also simultaneously satisfied. Ideally she brings her vocal accompaniment to a final crescendo coincident with the man’s orgasm.

Porno actresses provide vocal accompaniment as a male turn-on. Men don’t have to make all that noise to convince a lover that they have had an orgasm. Women also offer enticements as a tease. “Come on Big Boy! Come and get me! Bet you can’t catch me!” Vocals range from “Oh my God!” to “Come on baby. Give it to me!” Porn actresses indicate their sexual willingness and encourage a man by talking dirty or engaging in sex chat.

Porn actresses are always smiling or pouting. They look delectable and their make-up is not even smudged. This is not realistic of how a person achieves orgasm. Men never observe a woman truly having an orgasm so they have nothing to compare porn with. The sounds and images of a woman faking orgasm have become the substitute for the real thing. But equally most women do not know what a real orgasm is either. So although men do not respond in this way, such fakery is accepted as if it were reality for women.

The problem with visual media is that we don’t know what is happening inside a person’s head. This is confusing for anyone watching because they assume that a woman is responding naturally to stimulation (rather than acting). Even in erotic literature women are portrayed as being aroused by real-world erotic stimuli just as men are but this does not occur in reality.

Women feel much more muted sensations from both sexual arousal and orgasm compared to what men experience so their reactions are likely to be much less extreme. Orgasm involves focused concentration and responding instinctively to feelings that blot out the real world. A woman typically pants and sighs as least a little in the build up to orgasm. She doubtless pulls a face and groans depending on the strength of her release.

Men do not approach sex expecting to need to provide turn-ons for a lover. When a man is heading for orgasm, he may grunt and his face is focused in concentration. Anyone who is aiming for orgasm needs to concentrate on the turn-ons and stimulation at hand. A woman also makes little noise while she masturbates until her orgasm when she may grunt or pant a little.

Modern media make women’s bodies seem easily available. It’s difficult for men to appreciate that the women portrayed are actresses playing a part. Porn shows women as men would like them to be: sexually from the first moment of meeting and enthusiastic about being sexually proactive. Porn actresses apparently relish all the body fluids that men appreciate including saliva, ejaculate and vaginal secretions. A young man assumes a real woman should provide all the same turn-ons he sees in porn. Some women assume that they are supposed to produce all the same cries of ecstasy, verbal come-ons and proactive engagement that porn actresses use as a male turn-on.

One of the most confusing things about how female sexuality is portrayed in erotic fiction, is the implication that women achieve orgasm by stimulating a variety of different anatomy. Women are portrayed as if they obtain amazing pleasure from stimulating their clitoral glans. Even when a woman masturbates, she feels little pleasure from the indirect (through the skin) stimulation of her clitoris. Her pleasure is the orgasm at the end.

In porn a woman is also shown apparently having almost continuous orgasms during penile thrusting. Even men enjoy only arousal, not orgasm, while they are thrusting. Anyone who has an orgasm does not want the same stimulation that caused the orgasm to continue. Yet women are believed to orgasm multiple times and still be indefinitely willing to engage in sex.

A woman does not have a response to consensual intercourse, which provides almost no sensation. In pornography, the portrayal of female arousal is based on the rape scenario. There is an inherent turn-on in the screams, the body straining to escape and the shocked expression of someone being penetrated against their will. The fear communicated by a victim can be a turn-on. This is the taboo of sex. A porn actress expresses surprise with her face as if she can feel the thrusting penis, which she cannot.

Men are anxious when their penis does not compare well to those shown in pornography. Porn shows men with unusually large (regularly shaped) genitals and a constant erection throughout almost endless sexual activity. Porn actors are chosen for penis size and stamina so that they look good on film. Presumably they also become desensitized over time to the visual turn-ons and the constant stimulation involved in producing a porn movie.

Nothing in porn is real. You need to watch porn knowing that this is all completely fabricated. (Tracey Cox 2012)

Excerpt from LearnAboutSexuality.org