Wednesday, July 29

RELATIONSHIPS

According To A Couples Therapist, Talking About These 3 Things First Can Smooth The Way, Before Moving In With Your Partner
No Comments
RELATIONSHIPS

According To A Couples Therapist, Talking About These 3 Things First Can Smooth The Way, Before Moving In With Your Partner

Moving in with your partner? Talking about these 3 things first can smooth the way, according to a couples therapist. Partners who live together typically come to this significant place in their relationship in one of two ways – what some clinicians call “sliding versus deciding.” Moving in together can just kind of happen without too much thought, or it can be carefully considered and planned. Some couples may see living together as a test for future marriage. For others, marriage is not a goal, so living together may be the ultimate statement of their commitment. I have been a relationship therapist and researcher for over 25 years, specializing in intimate relationships. Based on my research and clinical experience, I recommend that couples discuss the significance of sharing a home bef...
Read More
Could Smartphones Be Ruining Your Love Life
No Comments
DATING

Could Smartphones Be Ruining Your Love Life

The majority of our relationships are in shambles. The U.S. divorce rate hovers at 40 percent, but that’s not the whole story. Many intact relationships are on life support. According to a survey by the National Opinion Research Center, 60 percent of people in a relationship say they’re not very satisfied. There are some familiar culprits: money problems, bad sex and having kids. But there’s a new relationship buster: the smartphone. My colleague Meredith David and I conducted a study that explored just how detrimental smartphones can be to relationships. We zeroed in on measuring something called “phubbing” (a fusion of “phone” and “snubbing”). It’s how often your romantic partner is distracted by his or her smartphone in your presence. With more and more people using the attention-siphon...
Read More
If You’re A Woman – Who Wears The Pants In A Relationship Matters
No Comments
RELATIONSHIPS

If You’re A Woman – Who Wears The Pants In A Relationship Matters

When it comes to power in romantic relationships, men are often cast as dominant and women as deferential. But working against this are caricatures of domineering women with their “hen-pecked husbands” and “whipped boyfriends.” At the same time, popular culture is replete with representations of striving and self-serving women – from celebrities like Beyoncé to the TV show “Girls” – who engage in relationships with men as social equals on a level playing field. The idea that during relationship conflicts, women can be just as volatile, combative and aggressive as men – what researchers refer to as “gender symmetry” – is also gaining traction. But appearances of gender equality can be deceiving. In my most recent study, I asked 114 young adults about their heterosexual relationship experien...
Read More
Should I Date My BFF?
No Comments
DATING

Should I Date My BFF?

One person fills two roles. Being someone’s BFF is a big deal – you don’t hand over the other half of your “Best Friends” necklace to just anyone. Having a romantic partner who is also your best friend potentially sounds perfect. With your BFF as your romantic partner, you get the best of both worlds, someone with whom you can laugh, share your life and cuddle. When you look at seemingly happy celebrity couples like Ashton Kutcher and Mila Kunis, or Leslie Mann and Judd Apatow, not only do they appear to be in love, but they also seem to genuinely enjoy hanging out together. How many people feel as though they have attained that type of ideal? And do psychologists confirm this new paradigm is a good one to strive for? I enlisted the help of Monmouth University Polling Institute to investig...
Read More
Four Questions To Ask Yourself Before Having A Workplace Romance With Someone From The Office
No Comments
ATTRACTION

Four Questions To Ask Yourself Before Having A Workplace Romance With Someone From The Office

Workplace romance: four questions to ask yourself before dating someone from the office. In the digital age, online dating and swiping right are the status quo for romance. Practically gone are the days of meeting “the one” in a pub. But what about flirting by the water cooler or over Zoom? The consensual office relationship has been both a romance trope and a taboo for decades. There are many reasons someone might enter a workplace relationship. Research shows that people gravitate towards like-minded people with common personality traits, backgrounds, belief systems and ideas. Proximity and familiarity also influence attraction, something psychologists call the mere exposure effect. For better or for worse, offices are a place where like-minded people are in close proximity to each other...
Read More
How The Problems With Dating Apps Could Be Fixed — According To Relationship Experts
No Comments
DATING

How The Problems With Dating Apps Could Be Fixed — According To Relationship Experts

The problems with dating apps and how they could be fixed – two relationship experts discuss. Hundreds of millions of people worldwide use dating apps. But only half of users say that they have had positive experiences. Indeed, a shocking 11% of female users under 50 have received threats of harm. Surely there’s a better way to build these apps. Dating sites and apps have made it easier to find sexual and romantic partners, expanding the pool of potential mates to include the entire internet. About 10% of heterosexual people and 24% of LGB people have met their long-term partner online. But apps have also introduced (or modernized) many ethical concerns associated with dating. Before dating apps, many people met partners through family, friends or work, which meant that potential partners ...
Read More
Japanese Guys Think European Girls Are Not Into Them – They Are So Wrong!
No Comments
ATTRACTION

Japanese Guys Think European Girls Are Not Into Them – They Are So Wrong!

When Muge and Masaki met  Muge was trying to learn Japanese so she thought that making friends could improve her Japanese. That time Masaki wanted to learn Turkish because he wanted to bike through Turkey. They started to talk every day and after 3 months, they met at Izmir (her city in Turkey). It was summer and they had lots of fun at Izmir but Masaki had to leave for another country as he planned his travels previously. He asked her to wait for him. That was a difficult time but Muge but, as promised, she was waiting for him. On their first anniversary, Muge went to Japan and met with his friends and family. They celebrated their anniversary at Tokyo Disneyland! Muge will go back to Japan this winter and they hope to not stay apart ever again. Questions to Her On Our first date... Wel...
Read More
Is Indifference An Effective Way To Get Revenge For An Affair?
No Comments
RELATIONSHIPS

Is Indifference An Effective Way To Get Revenge For An Affair?

I sometimes hear from people who want their cheating spouse to feel some consequences for their actions. They want their spouse to feel guilt, shame, remorse, and sorrow. But, for whatever reason, they have been unable to elicit these responses. Their spouse continues to act defensive or indignant or attempts to shift the blame. As a result, they look for ways to entice their spouse to feel the emotions of guilt that they should just naturally feel. Someone might say, "honestly, my husband says that he is sorry for the affair, but his actions and behavior just don't show this. Sometimes, when we are discussing how the affair has affected our family, I will start to cry because I am so upset at what he has done. When I cry, he doesn't attempt to comfort me. He just gets really uncomfortabl...
Read More
The Opposite Of Narcissism — ‘Self-Love’
No Comments
ATTRACTION

The Opposite Of Narcissism — ‘Self-Love’

‘Self-love’ might seem selfish. But done right, it’s the opposite of narcissism. “To love what you are, the thing that is yourself, is just as if you were embracing a glowing red-hot iron” said psychonalyst Carl Jung. Some may argue this social media generation does not seem to struggle with loving themselves. But is the look-at-me-ism so easily found on TikTok and Instagram the kind of self-love we need in order to flourish? Bart Larue/Unsplash The language of positive psychology can be – and often is – appropriated for all kinds of self-importance, as well as cynical marketing strategies. Loving yourself, though, psychological experts stress, is not the same as behaving selfishly. There’s a firm line between healthy and appropriate forms of loving yourself, and malignant or narcissis...
Read More
Is It Love? Admiration? Lust? Infatuation? Obsession? Enthrallment? Beguilement? Or Something Else?
No Comments
ATTRACTION

Is It Love? Admiration? Lust? Infatuation? Obsession? Enthrallment? Beguilement? Or Something Else?

Are you really in love? How expanding your love lexicon can change your relationships and how you see yourself. What is love? Could those feelings you label as love be something else? What about infatuation? Obsession? A passing fancy? Being smitten? Enthrallment? Beguilement? Lust? A crush? A squish? Platonic admiration? Why do people categorize some attachments as romantic love but not others? Suppose Holly meets someone on vacation. They quickly become romantically and sexually intimate and seem deeply compatible. Holly is from the U.K., where the term “holiday romance” is commonly used and part of her vocabulary. Because she knows this term, she can apply its social scaffolding to this relationship. She understands that the rapid emotional intimacy and apparent compatibility she experi...
Read More