Monday, March 9

PARENTING

Helping Pregnant Parents To Be With Addictions Navigate Aspects Of Life
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PARENTING

Helping Pregnant Parents To Be With Addictions Navigate Aspects Of Life

Coaches help pregnant people with addictions navigate all aspects of life, from doctor visits to finding housing. “Look at that little bald head,” Jewel Adams said. Moving toward Adams in the arms of her mother, and wearing a ruffled, magenta onesie, is 3-week-old Safiyah James. “Hi Sophia,” Adams said. “It’s Sah-fiyah,” said Kia Nassik, 27, as she allows Adams to hold her daughter in her apartment just south of Madison, Wisconsin. Safiyah sticks out her lower lip, squints her eyes and lets out a small cry. “She saying, ‘these ain’t my mama’s hands.’ I know, I know,” Adams said, rocking Safiyah for a few moments before handing her back to her mother. Though this is Nassik’s second child—she has a 5-year-old daughter as well—she feels like a first-time mom. During her first pregnancy, ...
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The Kids Are All Right, But the Adults Are Struggling
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PARENTING

The Kids Are All Right, But the Adults Are Struggling

While much attention on the rising suicide rate focuses on youth, data shows that it's actually working-age adults who are being hit hardest. The rise of suicide and other self-destructive behavior in the U.S. raises questions both tragic and curious. Suicide rates are up for every age group over the past few years, and they tend to get attention when someone—usually a young person—takes their own life. What’s causing this upswing? The truth is complicated. But the short version is this: It’s not youth who are creating the crisis. It’s their parents’ generation. Americans have the worst levels of addiction, suicide, and self-destruction in the Western world. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, a record 120,000 Americans died from suicides and rela...
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PARENTING

Stop Ignoring Mothering as Work

No one should be forced to mother, but women who choose that journey deserve political, social, and structural support. Every year during Women’s History Month we reflect on the many accomplishments of women and their contributions to society. Now that the month is over, it’s time to face a glaring omission so that it’s not repeated next March. This year, I was particularly concerned that the month’s overfocus on the secular and professional accomplishments of women brought an unintended consequence to undermine mothering as valuable work equally worthy of high-fives, GIFs, reposting, and tweeting. Women’s History Month or any such celebration is not complete until women are honored for their productive work—and their reproductive work. That means acknowledging work that’...
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PARENTING

How Babies Adapt to Their Mother’s Physiological State

The classic image at New Year's where old Father Time represents the year just ended while the bannered New Year's baby emerges onstage, heralds the iconic star of a conference I attended in San Diego recently. Sponsored by the Association for Prenatal and Perinatal Psychology and Health (APPPAH) the international congress addressed the scientific and psycho-social discoveries centered on "the conscious baby." Founded in 1983 by Canadian psychiatrist Thomas R. Verny MD, and David Chamberlain PhD, the APPPAH started as a small group of people who shared an interest in the sensitivity and consciousness of babies. Membership chair and parental educator Barbara Decker explains, "Their premise is that babies are having experiences in the womb-welcoming or not being welcomed, experiencing fear...
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90% Of Being A Successful Father Is Showing Up
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PARENTING

90% Of Being A Successful Father Is Showing Up

Woody Allen says 90% of success in life is showing up. That's definitely true for being a good father. Your wife delivers the baby, but the ball is in your end of the court, half of the time, after that. I was terrified when I brought my infant son home from the hospital. I looked at the tiny, six pound, six-ounce, boy and nearly panicked when I realized he was going to be living with me. I didn't know how to feed him, change him, or get him to stop crying. I was afraid to hold him. I was the ultimate newbie dad. I wasn't confident I'd be able to fill a father's shoes. I was a full-time, financially strapped, married, twenty-year old college student when my son was born. I had no money, and only one way to get any. I worked five part-time jobs during the day and into the night to pay the...
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Be The Dad You Wish You Had
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PARENTING

Be The Dad You Wish You Had

In my office are several items that reflect the great joy I find in my family; among them are two special items. One is a little figurine presented to me years ago on Father's Day by one of my children. It bears this message: "World's Greatest Dad." The second item, a plaque given by another of my children on another Father's Day, reads: "A father is someone you look up to no matter how tall you are." This gift brought a timely measure of encouragement, coming the year my oldest son surpassed me in height. (That's when I decided, subconsciously of course, to beat him in girth. And I did.) These particular paternal possessions are very important to me for a reason I want to share with you here. I know, all too well, that I am not the "world's greatest dad." Still, the hyperbole expressed ...
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Tips For Young Fathers
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PARENTING

Tips For Young Fathers

Hopefully, if you are reading this, you are a man between the ages of 18 and 25 that is about to become a father. In this article, I will elaborate on three helpful tips for becoming a young father. Spend as much time as possible with the child, become financially independent, and constantly be focusing on your future. When you are a young man about to become a father, your family and friends get scared for you and they might say hurtful words. You need to block out all the negativity and take in all the positivity. Think about how you are about to have a mini you, how you can teach your child so many wonderful things, and how you get to watch them grow into their own person. Your number one goal is spending as much time as you can with your child. One of my favorite sayings is "you get o...
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