One of the more socially important topics within the dating world is whether a man is an “alpha male” or a “beta male.” However, there is a major flaw in feedback as to what exactly makes a man an “alpha” perceived by women. Once and for all, we are going to try to settle the debate on what exactly is an “alpha male” and who is one and who is not. And what exactly is the “turn on” and “hang up” with the whole alpha male vs. beta male.
The 2 Types of Alpha Males
Type 1: this type is reserved for any animal who lives in the wild where “survival of the fittest” kind of, sort of comes into play. I say “kind of, sort of” because even within the wild kingdom of the animals there is a sort of unspoken code they all abide by. This code is that aggression and violence is only expressed when necessary. Meaning, when the need for food calls for it, or to defend oneself from a threat or defending one’s territory.
However, the exception to this rule is the expression of aggression and violence between males to determine who has the right to mate and/or lead the group. Here you will see that majority of the alpha males are the younger mature, larger, and stronger males of any given species of any family. This holds true regardless on whether or not that the animal is a carnivore, herbivore or omnivore. To which the older, slower, weaker, and perhaps having slight loss in mass (due to aging) is bumped out of the alpha position.
Type 2: this second type applies to the human animal who lives and interacts in modern society and not in some pre-historic times. Here too we find that men engage in a “contest of the fittest,” however, the definition of ‘fittest’ changes due to lacking the need for the constant literal struggle to fight for one’s food and possessions.
Instead, fittest can be looked at in two distinct ways. 1) that a man can easily integrate into society and be a productive member of his family, community, nation, etc., 2) that a man has the confidence to dare be who he really is without folding or bending to others (without being too abrasive or overbearing about it). Meaning, does he claim his personal territory (in all things) or does he constantly submit to those who invade such space without a fight?
The 2 Types of Beta Males
Type 1: in the wild animal world, a beta male is one that is secondary to the alpha male (in reference to wolves and wolf packs). Basically, the alpha male’s “right hand man,” their trusted lieutenant that can keep the other subordinates in line and enforce the rules produced by the alpha male. Outside of the wolf pack, the term “beta male” is not applicable… unless of course you want to include the Beta fish though this correlation is beyond ridiculous (remember this because their behavior will come into play later).
Type 2: in the modern human world, a beta male is classified as being on the lowest end of the totem pole of desirable possible partners. Which means you are either on top of the hierarchy or you are cast down with all others below. And if deemed or perceived as a “beta male” by women, your chances of attracting a partner (for any type of relationship) decreases dramatically. Taking into account that this perspective is based on the notions presented by such women who believe such things.
In all fairness, a “beta male” can also be considered a contestant or challenger to the “alpha male” role. Which in a way is a hybrid between Type 1 & Type 2 Alpha Males, whereas a beta male challenges an abusive, irresponsible or reckless alpha. However, we can safely assume that a human beta male is one who feels the need to prove oneself and “call out” or “challenge” others perceived as “alpha males” by this beta male. Which is done so out of one’s one fears, insecurities, and lack of true confidence (not borrowed confidence).
Popularly Believed ‘Alpha Male’ Traits
Confidence: number one on this list is confidence, but the given description of what kind of confidence reveals the stupidity and shallow mindset of the women who seek their “confident man.” Many associate being an asshole or cocky to being an expression of confidence. However, this is far from the truth. Reason being is that both are tools of a bully to make oneself feel better about themselves, i.e., self-validation or validation by their peers.
An a$$hole is a direct bully who desperately tries to convince everyone around him (and himself) that he is a tough guy or “dominant.” The cocky male is an indirect bully, using passive-aggressive methods to do the same as their a$$hole counterpart.
Another form of confidence women associate as “sexy” and “alpha” is when a male is confident upon his approach of women when advancing on them. So even if the guy fakes like he isn’t nervous upon his engagement of her attention, she will perceive this as “confidence.” Which is why “players” are often associated with being very confident and charismatic men, however, this is not necessarily true. Not giving a sh!t and thinking very little of the woman (other than a sexual object) enough to deliberately lie and manipulate them isn’t an expression of confidence nor is it charming.
Being A Leader: here is one that many commonly associate as being “alpha male.” So popular is this belief that even military branches use this as a test to see who is the alpha of any given group. The idea is that only a true alpha male will assume the role of leader… to which all others submit to his dominance and willingly become his subordinates.
The flaw in this is that there are three or four different types of leaders, most of which are self-serving and not really taking into account of what is best for the group as a whole. Meaning, sometimes the “alpha male” (who assumes control and leadership of a group) may know nothing or have little to no experience with the task at hand yet takes up a leadership role out of sheer narcissistic reasons. Another reason is simply out of laziness-if they are up there barking orders they aren’t “in the trenches busting their a$$.”
Another flaw is that because of modern sophistication philosophies and ideas, aggression; violence; or challenging another is seen as “bad,” many true leaders instead remain within the group and lead by example rather than by barking orders. So it may seem that the narcissist is leading the group but in fact it is the several true alphas working together as a team to lead the group, while the “beta males” within follow their lead.
Charming & Charismatic: being charming or charismatic is another trait associated with an “alpha male.” This is mostly due to two varying reasons, 1) they are outgoing and perceived as interesting, i.e., life of the party, so they are ‘fun’, and 2) they are assumed to be confident because they are so attractive by sheer attitude alone.
Yes, being a ‘people person’ is an attractive trait and in fact naturally draws people to an individual with attentive ears and attitudes, which is not a necessary trait to be considered “alpha.” Reason being is that not all alpha males are leaders, or should I say, not all alpha males feel the need to be in a leadership role. Have you ever met an intriguing or interesting person that was not in a leadership position? Better yet, have you ever been interested automatically in someone who was in a leadership position?
Charm and charisma relate more to one’s ability to naturally express themselves and not really care what others think… all while taking into consideration other people’s emotions, ideas and beliefs. This is not to be confused with being afraid to express oneself fully or backing down on one’s stance. A person as such also carries with them a strong sense of confidence through creating positive solutions to obstacles encountered in whatever endeavor they are engaged in.
Yet this has nothing to do with being a Type 1 Alpha Male that so many choose to focus on as being the one true “alpha male.” Simply because this type of alpha male rules by way of dominance, aggression and threat of violence, I.,e., fear. Rather than naturally letting their presence command respect from others, they feel the need to demand it using external influences. Fine for animals, not so much for humans in modern society. In fact, such an attitude and display would have gotten this human “alpha male” exiled from the tribe they were in.
Assertive: here is yet another trait that has two different meanings that are applied to it and some choose to see only one or the other as the true definition. The first is that of being one who is courageous to go after what they want or do what needs to be done; confident and forceful personality.
The second chooses to only focus on the ‘forceful’ part and twist it to mean a “go-getter”; domineering; to take; steal, etc. And this is the version so many commonly assume as the definitive and absolute definition of ‘assertiveness.’ Apply this to their ideal of an “alpha male” and you basically get a criminal, an abusive person or bully. These types of individuals would also be exiled from a tribe or killed if displaying such traits among their community. (Sometimes the family of such an “alpha male” would be subject to his punishment as well so… ).
Being Big, Tall, and Handsome: not much to say here but there are some people, especially women, who think and believe that the size of a man’s frame equates to his status and value as an alpha male. Going one step further, to say that the handsome ones (in addition to being tall and/or big) possess much more value and therefore… more alpha than the tall and big alpha males?
Obviously we can see just how ridiculous this sounds by reading that out loud and hearing how it sounds. The physical size of a human male makes no difference as to their value as a person no more than the shape and size of a woman’s body does her value as person. Yet another absurdity brought about by the common simpletons of society. As there are so many flaws in this thinking I don’t even need to list and explain any of them.
Being Dominant: here is a popular idea that is applied by the commoner as a trait of an “alpha male.” The idea behind it is that only an alpha male will seize and take control of any and all situations. Assuming the top or highest role in anything they do… because of their bada$$ery… I guess.
One major flaw is that any one person will never be in full control of any given situation at all times nor will they always be placed on the highest position in any hierarchy (just because). The truth of the matter is that any given time of day, anyone can assume dominance over another. So where does a shorter, smaller male manager or CEO fit into this equation versus their minimum wage, common male associate employees who are taller and larger fit in here? There is a bit of a contradictory to the rule… or are they now the exception (out of convenience)?
Being Muscular & Physically Strong: apparently being in good physical shape is considered an alpha male trait (in humans) yet a major problem arises when we try and break that down into a more precise definition. So what is considered peak physical shape? Is it being good shape with some muscle tone and build (universally athletic type), is it being very muscular and bulky in muscle mass and supreme definition (body builder type) or is it being huge yet powerfully strong (strong man competitor type)?
So does this mean there is now a hierarchy amongst the alpha male label too, since each category of fit man fits the defining trait? The very idea that physical condition has anything to do with being an “alpha male” is beyond absurd and down right idiotic.
Being an A$$hole & Aggressive: lastly we have those who associate a$$holes and aggressive individuals as displaying “alpha male” traits. Creating the rationalization that only an alpha male will assert their dominance over others and remind everyone that they are “top dog.” Some are just straight out rude bastards, others utilize intimidation while others simply resort to making as much noise (literally and figuratively) as possible to communicate this to everyone around them.
It is here that we find the individuals who live by the problematic and made up existence of reality referred to as “dog-eat-dog world” or “survival of the fittest.” The ideological philosophy known as “machismo” is also influenced by such theories of reality-as well as the belief system/lifestyle I call ‘Hip-hopism.’
The general idea of all these listed above is to be perceived as the baddest, the toughest, and the best, all while not giving a $hit about anyone else. In fact, using others is not only seen as a necessary tool within these ideologies but also encouraged and seen as honorary acts. They will always express themselves with an “in your face” approach in anything they do and are destructive in nature.
The interesting thing about individuals who display such characteristics is that they do not realize how ridiculous they look, sound and act. The desperation for attention is so strong and obvious that they appear to be like a low level competitor trying to get a chance at the championship title by ‘insulting’ the champion (a.k.a., real alpha males). This pathetic plea for attention is the very reason why such individuals are loud in voice, loud in bravado, and have loud sound systems for all to hear in their vehicles (e.g., subwoofers without proper interior insulation).
Simply put, they always seem to express themselves in such a way that implies that they have something to prove to others and more importantly, to themselves. Which is more rooted from fear… not confidence. So anyone who thinks ghetto trash/thugs, hustlers and players are confident and are alpha males needs a reality check.
True Traits of an ‘Alpha Male’
Confidence: at the very top of the list in all things is how much confidence one has in what they do or are doing. However, many neglect to bring into the equation that there are many different types of confidence and one can have any number of these yet lack others… so does that mean they lack confidence?
Confused yet? Good. As stated, humans can have various types of confidence and with varying degree within each type. Such forms of confidence are (but not limited to): self-image, public relations, sexuality, combative, athletic, intellectual, academic, emotional, mental and even confidence in approaching and talking to people deemed attractive (approaching the gender of preference).
So for example, a man who is shy when it comes to interacting verbally with women is seen as lacking confidence (as a whole). Yet individuals foolishly fail to see that this man may be the most confident sexually/intimately, sport-wise, and possess a strong sense of confidence in self-image. But because he is an introvert and chooses not to openly engage in verbal interactions with people, he is seen as having no confidence (across the board). Nothing is an absolute.
Charm: charm and having charisma has everything to do with being likeable. If you are not likeable, how can you succeed in anything in regards to interacting with other people. Take for example, getting a job, holding a job and obtaining and keeping friends let alone a romantic relationship.
Please note that I must distinguish the difference between those that put on a good act or express false bravado in order to gain favor of people. As these types are nothing more than trickster, imposters that need to rely on nefarious manipulation and deception in order to be perceived as likeable by others. They are superficial and petty at best.
The very idea behind a man being considered as ‘charming’ is that he is not afraid to express himself truly but in a respectful manner (as opposed to being overbearing or abrasive or fake). Only a man who has figured out who he is and what he wants to accomplish in life will be able to freely express himself in such a way that he naturally draws people’s attention to him (even if but for a brief moment). Meaning, within minute fleeting moments with such a person one comes out feeling better or uplifted or more intrigued (results will vary by degree).
Humility: a true human alpha male is humble in his expression yet may declare their strengths when called for. A truly confident man feels no need to force others to acknowledge his presence and is content with sitting alone quietly to the side or corner. Even when intermixing with others there is no need to initiate elaborate gestures, movements or verbal cues to distinguish himself from everyone else. He simply knows that just being his true self is enough to communicate this to others.
Considerate: the human alpha male will always take into consideration how one’s actions, words or thoughts may affect or effect others. Take for example, when walking through a doorway he may hold the door open for the next person following behind rather than just passing through and allowing the door to close on the person behind him (regardless of perceived gender). Another example is the alpha male will politely shift his body when passing others on a narrow passage (without giving way to his own personal space).
He understands and takes into account that every decision and action he does can have a direct or indirect effect on others and thus takes action to minimize such negative imprints on people. An alpha male will never just change lanes while driving without first looking to see if the lane is clear and he has enough space to do so safely. An alpha male will never engage in a “chest puffing contest” with another male just for the sake of defending his ego.
Honesty: this not only ties in with being trustworthy, but also means truly expressing himself and not just regurgitating words just for the sake of saying words. There is a purpose underlining everything they do, yet allowing for times of pure playful fun. Remember that everything is done in such a way that expresses the self fully, without allowing the Ego Entity to contaminate things.
Such an individual has nothing to prove because they possess true overall confidence in themselves (even if having poor self-image, emotional issues, etc.). Therefore they will not shout aloud so as to be heard by raising their voice (for no apparent reason) nor will they express this need for attention by intrusively listening to their music (forcing all others to acknowledge their presence). And they certainly do not dress a certain way just because such a ‘style’ is deemed popular. Their natural expression of self does this, along with their acts (to which they apply their personality and character unto).
Responsibility: the human alpha male takes and assumes responsibility for his actions, decisions and words expressed. This also means confessing and giving himself to the drawback of his mistakes and acknowledging such a thing occurred. Often accompanied with an apology when called for. This acceptance transcends beyond just taking responsibility in such conventional ways, it moves into a form of expression. The alpha male expresses responsibility from himself naturally and effortlessly.
We are not merely talking about someone who “has his $h!t together” or owns material possessions or pays their bills on time. Even immature beta males do this… hell, even man-children do. What I speak of is that a true human alpha male will take up the responsibility in everything he does: takes pride in his work, takes pride in his overall appearance and presentation (verbally and attitude), and engages fully in every interaction he engages in with others. The true alpha male also has respect for himself and his character.
Maturity: here is one that may seem ‘foreign’ or ‘alien’ to too many out there. A true alpha male is mature. What I mean by that statement is that he has developed a sense of when things are appropriate and when things are not appropriate. There is always a time and a place for anything and everything we do in life.
A true alpha male knows when its time to play around, when its time to be serious, when its time to get aggressive, when its time to be responsibly irresponsible, and when its time to get sexually playful.
Respectful: the human alpha male is respectful to anyone and everyone he comes in contact with, but will relinquish respect given to those who show no respect to him or others. This is highly due to one’s expression of character. And the alpha male is keen on other people’s character.
Therefore, the alpha male will be respectful to those who are respectful and may express contempt to those who seem compelled to disrespect others and/or seem to demand it from others using various nefarious and aggressive manipulation tactics. Here is when the human alpha male may choose to be like the Type 1 alpha male and shut down the problem wolf within the pack (putting them back in their place so to speak). And this does not always have to mean by way of utilizing physical methods, there are ways of using verbal projections, and even one’s spiritual presence alone is sometimes enough.
Strong In Stance: here is an interesting trait associated with an alpha male, one that somewhat relates to the Type 1 Alpha Male. The alpha male will “stand their ground” when within their “territory” or for what they strongly believe in. This is not to be confused for defending one’s ego or to feed one’s ego.
An alpha male will hold his position whenever he strongly feels any one way about anything or when it comes to his personal space. However, he will also retract any statement that is proven to be a mistake and apologize for words misspoken. The true alpha male feels no need to impose oneself into another’s personal space (just to prove how tough he is… remember, he needs no validation). But he may also impose himself into the personal space of a beta male who challenges him in their usual ways (explained in the next segment).
For Part 2, below:
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Traits of the ‘Beta Male’
False Confidence: a beta male will heavily rely on creating a facade of being confident. They do this by portraying a persona they consider to be ‘cool,’ tough or attractive to others… simply for the sake of receiving validation (see below). You see, a beta male is a man that has not yet figured out who he really is, has no ambition to finding out or has found out and has fled like a scared child.
Majority of their confidence originates out of deception, falsehoods, and misconstrued or twisted beliefs about oneself, i.e., delusions of grandeur; narcissism. Everything about a beta male is heavily attached to their ego (which is constantly in a fragile state-but they will never let that show). Hence, the creation of personas… characters they portray. This in turn is why many imitate those they admire and see as what they would like to be, to which majority are (not so surprisingly) hip-hop and rap stars.
This also explains why the Inverted Beta Male appears to avoid conversation with people in public social settings, or has difficulty talking to women and people in general (including being awkward while at work). His ego cannot take the rejection of a woman he wants to get to know and so he creates excuses to not talk to her or is very odd and ‘boring’ upon his approach (rather than just being himself and letting it emit from him like an attraction magnet).
Please note that this is completely different than what a male considered to be an Introvert experiences. One of the popular and commonly accepted defining traits of an introvert is that they are not confident. Which is not so absolute as many would think. Introverts simply are not in need of social interactions to feel important, accepted or for some form of validation. Yes there are those that possess a lack of social confidence but this is not the rule, but the exception to being an introvert.
The Unturned Beta Male appears to naturally gravitate towards social interactions (good or bad is not of importance). He will flow smoothly with white-lie after white-lie or bluntly utilize lies in order to gain favor with respective company. And a main contributing factor in reasoning is quite simply and literally, the unturned beta male seeks to take something from the person he is interested in or has sexual/romantic interest in. Usually, it gravitates towards feeding his own ego… anything that makes him seem more important in the eyes of others.
This is exactly why you see ‘players’, [censored] boys, and guys trying to be such, seeking women that are considered to be greater than ‘8’s.’ They use any and every manipulation ploy needed in order to trick that ‘8,’ ‘9’ or ’10’ into getting with them (romantically or sexually). But as most may already know, these sub-types have no mind of committing to just one woman or being responsible enough to openly address their desire for an open-relationship. Thus, cheating eventually becomes one of many obstacles in the relationship.
It is for this reason that both beta male sub-types rely on borrowed confidence. They latch themselves onto something or someone that is seen in good review of their peers. This in turn creates the illusion that they themselves must be confident due to association. Mind you, this is in addition to their false persona they maintain in order to fully sell the perception of themselves being truly confident men (i.e., increased social status; value).
Seeks Validation: closely in relation to a beta male’s false confidence is their need for validation. In some way or another, a beta male is needy… and sometimes whiny. A beta male will often need validation in order to maintain their false sense of self they created in order to sustain their delusions of grandeur. They do this in many different ways you are already familiar with (yet may not associate as a trait) and varies based on the sub-type of beta male we are referring to as well.
The Unturned Beta Male seeks such validation by being loud, flamboyant, and aggressive. They are, in the true sense of the term, “attention seekers” and fearful in nature (at the root). They simply need it and got to have it (for that validation of self, given and asked for from others). Some of the most popular methods are: talking loudly so everyone can hear, standing out near the sidewalk or out in the street when talking on the phone, deliberately creating their own ‘speech’ in desperation of sounding different and distinguishable from others.
Other ways they do this is by listening to their music in such a way that is intrusive and imposes on the lives (and attention) of others. One main tool used is that of the subwoofer. Instead of properly insulating their vehicles so as to capture and experience the best quality of sound from their sound systems, they instead tweak it so as to be as loud as possible so that anyone and everyone can hear them from at least a block away. Another common characteristic is the use of those crappy sounding muffler caps that make a lot of noise. And yet another method are those that deliberately get motorcycles in order to have a loud vehicle, and/or tweaking them to be even louder, revving the throttle unnecessarily, and listening to their radio so loud that everyone can hear (over the loud engine). These are demands for validation, make no mistake.
The last method used by the unturned beta male for validation is by being aggressive or ‘in your face.’ Here is where we find many who live out the ‘dog-eat-dog’ or ‘machismo’ philosophy. They are ‘in your face’ in attitude, speech (unnecessary cursing and/or a deliberate alteration in wording and structure), and of course literally in people’s faces. The idea is to create this façade that they are tough or just someone not to be messed with… so we should all just roll out the red carpet for their bad@$$ selves.
A typical thing you will witness from such beta males is that they will repetitively insult someone or others, of course in ‘joking’ fashion. But the truth of the matter is that they are trying to knock others down to their [confidence] level. You see, it’s about making the other person look stupid, foolish or lacking [in some way] in order to make them stand out in the eyes of others (hoping for attention and validation).
The literal aspect of the unturned beta male seeking validation is that they will try to impose their bodies into other’s personal space in one way or another. They may challenge other males by deliberately taking up more space than needed when another male is passing by (which can result in the ghetto ‘punk check’). These too are ways they seek to reassure themselves and an attempt to seem ‘dominant’ in the eyes of others (if the guy makes room for them in some way or another). This is also the reason why these sub-types have no problem invading a woman’s personal space upon their approach to show interest (it isn’t confidence that is influencing them).
Each and every example that can be used and was faintly listed above are all ways in which the beta male uses to challenging others they find threatening (which so happens to be most everyone that passes their way). These individuals live so much in fear that they are afraid of appearing weak and so they overdo the ‘tough guy act’ in order to mask their own well-hidden fears and weaknesses.
All methods [of the unturned beta male] are ways he calls out the alpha males around him in order to try and boost his own confidence, status and gain that validation he so desperately needs. Every action described is a hard cry and plea for attention, like a child screaming, “Look at me! Look at me! Please pay attention to me!”
The inverted beta male is a completely different animal all together in regards to their search for validation. Methods of choice for these sub-types focus more on indirect actions and other subtleties. Take for example, they may do things that they think others may take notice of and give them praise or attention for. It’s different than just merely doing something for the sake of doing it, it’s more about doing it in hopes of getting praise and attention (i.e., validation).
Another method is to put on a show in the sense of trying to replicate another’s persona or presence. They do this by dressing in such a way that would gain attention from others or in some form of fashion that is popular (even though they personally do not like the said fashion). This also includes getting a car that they think women would be attracted to and people in general will be impressed with. You see, it isn’t about expressing their individuality but more about adopting a façade that best generates validation and attention without them having to be proactive about it.
Frequently Boasts or Gloats: Here is a very popular method we witness more times than one can stomach or bear to tolerate. One that is very closely related to seeking validation methods listed only just previously. When one takes it upon themselves to unnecessarily or inappropriately sound the bell of what they consider their best assets, it is a clear sign that they are asking, begging and pleading for attention from and seeking validation from those around them, i.e., trying to gain praise or trying to impress others.
The unturned beta male will do this in bold fashion. They will straight out tell you what they think is their best quality… and usually it is a very superficial and petty thing. Take for example, they will gloat about how big a certain part of their anatomy is (regardless of the truth), how many girls that are ‘interested’ in them, and/or how much money they make, i.e., chiming in how ‘important’ they are. The point of such antics is to convince you that they are of higher status than they really are. It equates to almost wanting a reward for such petty things or for things they haven’t even achieved (but it’s the thought that counts right).
The inverted beta male gloats and boasts as well, only they do it in more of either passive-aggressive fashion or in other more subtle ways. Such as: if getting in shape and/or possessing a ‘built’ physique, they will deliberately wear clothing that is too small to make them appear bigger or find ways to wear clothing that is revealing in a tacky kind of way. They may also overdo ‘proper’ speech or an insincere portrayal as being of gentlemanly character. These are also the types that desperately try to gain interest in women or people by paying the tab/bill, buying drinks in the clubs or just unwarranted, going-out-of-their-way things in general.
Lacks Commitment: one major flaw with beta males in the human animal kingdom is that you will find most every single one of them have this fear, phobia or disinterest in the living definition of the word ‘commitment.’ They will lack resolve and rarely possess realistic, sensible and ambitious long-term goals that actually have substance. Do not confuse this for their commitment to the many paltry short-term commitments however.
The beta male of either sub-type will most likely lack assertiveness, be hesitant in things that actually matter, and will lack the ability to make a decision and stick to it. This is true to such an extent that there is a reason you will usually find these traits with the typical type of beta males listed earlier (because they are not seeking such things from quality ladies but rather the typical woman, i.e., beta females and wannabe alpha females).
The truth of the matter is that the human beta male will utilize any and all short-term commitments that result in quick, fast or rapid attention, interest or validation from others (especially from the gender of their desire). So if you really want to filter out these types from your dating pool potential list, simply extend the conversation part before jumping into the ‘meet and greet’, or first date. Hell, I say, make them work for your number, Snapchat, or other chat-type app… guarantee that these beta males will quickly lose interest and move on. Unless that is of course, you are strictly looking for something short-term, temporary or some one-time fling or just have an interest in people who lack substance.
Lacks Resolve: related closely to the previous (e.g., Lacks Commitment), a beta male will have issues and problems with acting decisively, and instead of finding a solution or trying solutions to their current problems, they persist in complaining and blaming others. These types tend to cling tightly to the ‘victim mentality.’
They often create situations or circumstances that give way to such excuses as to why they are the victim, instead of acknowledging the issue, facing the problem and executing possible solutions. In truth, they have no real ambition for the greater things in life (and cling on to the superficial and materialistic).
This is not to say they will not make a decision and stick to it to accomplish things, what I am saying is that they lack the seeming ability to put all or even most of themselves into what they do. They lack that passion in what they do and just merely go with the motion. They do not pride themselves with the honor in the things they do by adorning it with integrity, but instead tend to gloat about petty things or are proud of things that are all too common or a given expectation.
Petty Ambitions: a typical beta male, in all sense of existence will seek and possesses goals that have no substance. What I mean by this is that they will focus more on superficial, materialistic things and often are very shallow in standards. Standards that are in reality, beyond their own level of value… because they think and feel they deserve what is undeserving, simply because they are them.
Indeed, their ambitions are all heavily based on their own conceitedness and narcissism. This transcends beyond merely being comfortable in your skin and possessing confidence. It is more about projecting one’s own delusions of grandeur and not so much about just expressing one’s own true self.
Their ambitions are petty because they are in a spiritual sense, lost. Lost in the way that they have not yet discovered who they truly are. And most of this is highly due to the lifestyle they choose to live, the cultures they favor, and the mentality and ideologies they desperately cling to. All of which feed the Ego Entity, whose only job is to feed the ego and keep your soul hostage (so that one cannot truly express oneself and let shine that unique light within that we all possess).
Possessing no drive for anything that has real meaning and purpose to which they may express an intense passion for is another common characteristic. The ‘hobbies’ they tend to evolve around are time-wasting, non-creative, and usually has an ‘all-for-what’ conclusion (non-productive). Again, there is no expression of self in the activities, goals and plans they have (short-term or long-term). This is not to be confused for not having dreams… we all have dreams of how we want our lives to be in the future. But theirs is more of selfish, childish and the rather unrealistic kind.
Possesses the ‘Follower Mentality’: the average human beta male will conform to any one way simply for the sake of fitting in or thinking that one way is ‘cool’ or the only avenue to be perceived as ‘cool.’ So rather than be themselves (a unique individual), they regress to a state of being a cookie-cut person.
It is for this reason and this reason alone (for many), that they will choose clothing styles, music genres, cultures and lifestyles that they perceive are cool to the mass populace. They truly live in an oxymoron… in that, they are afraid of standing out yet choose such things that inevitably and deliberately make them stand out. And we are not talking about in a good way either (well… except to other betas of course).
There is no other logical, rational and sensible explanation for why such men (and people in general) tend to all act the same, talk the same, dress the same and all possess the very same attitude. An attitude that is more of a projection than an expression and even when it is an expression, it is projected in a way that is destructive, negative (in the bad sense) and ‘in your face’.
Another interesting internal observation about these types is that many upon many of them claim to be the ‘boss’, ‘alpha’, or seek a leadership role/title which is rooted in their belief that they deserve it (re: entitled). But again, this is merely a projection of one’s own delusions of the self. In the end, they are still following something that is outside themselves… in order to avoid discovering, facing, accepting and being who they really are.
Digging further down we find that such types also seem to be very possessive. Meaning that if close attention is allotted you will discover that such individuals talk as if they own things that aren’t their or use words that are possessive in nature. Take for example the popular phrases, “own it,” “… got owned,” etc.
Weak Mentality: it should be no surprise (by now) that beta males will possess mentalities that adopt a weakness in some way or another. And it is for this reason that many may subconsciously see beta males as being weak or rather, they pick up on the beta’s own projection of oneself. In all truth, beta males look foolish to some degree on a physical level and overlook the much more powerful mental and emotional matrixes. If you need an explanation as to describe in what ways, please re-read all of the traits listed under “Traits of the ‘Beta Male'” as I believe they provide sufficient points to the case. There is no need for further explanation.
Immature: lastly we come to the enveloping layer to the human beta male. At the very root of it, they are all immature, childish, man-boys. Continuously playing ‘games’ and ‘spitting game’ rather than expressing who they are, relaying ideas, personal thoughts or opinions on matters and being… oneself.
Keep in mind that just because a person has a job, earns a paycheck (gross pay unimportant), possesses material possessions and pays their bills does not necessarily mean one is mature. That is merely one part of the full spectrum. Maturity in whole is more about taking up the responsibilities as being an adult in society and one’s community, and being a productive member (as opposed to destructive or non-productive). It trascends beyond the superficial things mentioned above.
To get a better grasp at what I mean, let us imagine the children, teens and young adults as being representatives of the various adult members of society. Look at their choices, their behavioral habits, mental and emotional stability and attitudes (in collective). Would you say that such a community with said individuals would prosper or be a ‘self-eating watermelon’ as some would put it?
Dethroning the Theory of the Standardized ‘Alpha Male’
There are many, if not, hundreds of problems with what is the popularly considered and admired ‘Alpha Male.’ Most of which should be apparent at this point in time, but I do realize that there are some who require a little more devoted time than others. So here is where I will dispel many of the falsehoods and out-right stupid beliefs, theories and reasons given for ‘Alpha Males’ and the women who are attracted to them.
It’s Biology: okay, one of the dumbest reasons continuously used as to why women seem to be attracted to ‘synthetic alpha males’, as the YouTuber known as Gospel Authentic coins it in his video “MGTOW: The Alpha Male Delusion” is that they cannot help it… that it’s just biology. Meaning that women are biologically attracted to these constructs of those who sought to find ways to feel superior to others.
The reason why this idea and theory is incorrect and unsubstantiated is that we as humans are conscious beings and self-aware. This means that yes we may get natural urges and impulses to do things but in the end, it comes down to what we decide to do. As in, we consciously choose to either go along with that impulse, give in to the urge or not.
The very same applies to what some use as their excuse for being attracted to the ‘a-hole,’ the ‘player,’ the ‘successful guy,’ the ‘powerful’ or the ‘dominant.’ Each one of these has and can have a major flaw that can have serious drawbacks and may not benefit (whatsoever) to a woman’s child or children (as the claim for reasoning goes). So by that logic, biologically, women are naturally drawn to guys who may treat her children like utter crap, neglect them, beat them, mentally, emotionally or physically abuse them or oppress them with their dominance? Yeah, definitely makes sense to me.
Ousting The Weak: so a woman must be biologically attracted to any guy who crosses her path who she deems more power, stronger or healthier than the man she is currently with right? Furthermore, she will have this strong, unconscious urge to mate with him because he would provide stronger offspring. How many times would a woman be changing up men if this were really the case? And how many children till we say enough is enough… you’re human, please act like it.
Feeling Protected: even in the animal kingdom, the alpha male gets challenged. More often than not, by a member of their own family and species but this is not to exclude members of different families and the various species as well. Putting this in place upon the human species, there are many upon many problems with this idea. Quite simply, one can never truly be safe and protected… these are delusions we choose to believe in in order to have some sense of security.
Just because a man is tall, big, muscular or all the above does not guarantee that he can protect you or that there is nobody that will want to mess with him. Especially if they are being the standardized alpha male who seeks validation by ‘punking’ others around him. This actually does the opposite and brings more danger into your lives by creating enemies.
There is a possibility that one day, someone will gladly accept that challenge and not only will your ‘alpha male’ be threatened, but also the woman he is with and any children they may have together. It should also be noted that there are ‘big game’ hunters out there who seek validation for themselves by taking down the ‘bigger guys’. Think of this more like male beta fish placed in the same fish bowl.
The Sense of Power: many women say they are attracted to power but on that same note, many ignore or are foolishly oblivious as to say in what way is the man powerful. Generalizing such a thing is rather irresponsible and dangerous as it includes those who obtain power (over others) by force, by aggression and by violence or the threat of violence.
If power is biologically attractive to women, why then are women not willingly submitting to the rapist or the guy robbing them (and their husband) by knife or gun? The rapist and mugger both have power over her and her husband (assuming he is the alpha male). Does her man automatically get demoted once overpowered by another and thus the woman biologically has the urge to court the rapist or mugger?
Obviously I am being sarcastic and over-dramatic but I do want to drill in the point that such thoughts and ideas are utterly and completely stupid as all hell. So who is the alpha in the following situation: the tall, big and muscularly powerful man or the short, skinny and physically weak man who has him under the power of his gun or knife or authority? You see, power is at a constant flux and to say that it is fixated and stagnant in the fabric of time and space is the Nobel Peace Prize winner for all stupid claims.
The point is that power shifts hands all the time and between various types and kinds of people in many different ways. So does this mean that a man deemed an alpha attends a college class is now the beta to the instructor (who now takes up the alpha role)? What about when an ‘alpha’ starts working for a company (doesn’t matter what the job is), does this mean he becomes a beta because his boss and his boss’s boss are the alphas? This pattern repeats in every and all aspects in everyday life.
The Dominating Force: a major flaw is that controlling, obsessive and abusive male partners are dominant… does this mean they too are alpha males? Criminals in a broad stroke are, in a sense, dominant. As in, they seek victims whom they can overpower or select individuals to which they believe they can overpower… thus become the dominating force. So I guess every single woman (95%+) would agree that they find themselves uncontrollably attracted to such men. If so, please do explain.
On the lighter end, a man that makes decisions for a woman he is with or women he comes in contact with should automatically be given the title as ‘alpha male’ correct? By not allowing a woman to voice her opinions, make her own choices or execute her own decisions is just him being dominant right? By such defining characteristics he should be identified as being ‘alpha’ and therefore is deemed more attractive no?
Collecting That ‘Prize’ Man: here is one that reflects the flaws of the individual consciously seeking men they deem alpha males. It is a reflection of their own flaws because they typically choose synthetic alpha males with the mindset that they deserve an alpha… because they know their worth. What this illustrates is that she herself is synthetic or fake and naturally will gravitate towards someone similar in nature and expression. Narcissism is a heavy player on both sides of this one you will find.
Only The Fittest: as goes with ‘The Sense of Power’ portion, does this mean that when a woman is with her alpha male and he gets out of shape or ages she will thus seek out another man? Demoting the man she vowed her all dying love to that of a beta, only to obtain that idea of what an ‘alpha male’ is in another man. As stated before, if this were the case, the very idea and practice of monogamy would be extinct (if regressing back to the biological excuse).
I pointed this out earlier but, what if a physically fit alpha male suddenly begins to work 12+ hour shifts and then must get home to help out around the house with chores and the kids and becomes ‘out of shape’? Does this then mean that he no longer is an alpha male and must therefore accept the demotion to that of a beta male (despite nothing else about him changing)? What about that elderly couple you see walking together on the street whom have been married for decades, should the woman drop his ‘beta’ butt and seek to find herself an ‘alpha’? The very thought and idea is absurd… and for good reason. One in which I hope is painfully obvious to you right about now.
So now we can see that the commonly accepted version and ideal of the ‘alpha male’ is anyone who is sexier, younger, stronger, healthier, taller, more successful, better looking, more charismatic, more powerful than the men around them. We also learned that even a criminal qualifies as automatically being an alpha male in accordance to the list of prerequisites provided in the form of a checklist of traits. We also now know and can see such things as utter B-$.
In truth, the real alpha male is just a man who knows who he is, what he stands for and lives out his core beliefs regardless on who is watching, who stands against him, and in total disregard for rewards for such words, thoughts and deeds. He is simply just himself and expresses himself as such. The real alpha male is just a man who allows his soul to project itself naturally outward (from an inward source). This is the true sign of confidence, not the petty and superficial points highlighted by most.
To put it on the tip of the blade so to speak and get to the point… a human alpha male is merely just a real gentleman, a scholar, who may also cut loose when the timing is appropriate and in good, quality company. The alpha male I presented to you does not waste his time on individuals who have no substance, no ambition and no passion in the things they do in life. He is a true master of his domain (himself).
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